Day 309: Self Conscious

Today's Reading: Mark 13

Sometimes I think of martyrdom.

I wonder, if I were arrested and tortured for my faith, would I be able to stand.

These thoughts scare me at first. I think about the pain to my body, the disgrace, the shame. I think about how weak I am; how quickly I would deny my whole Source of Meaning for a moment of relief or comfort. I think about how stupidly unwise I am; how easy it would be to trick me or ensnare me in a lie.

I become very conscious of myself--my inabilities, my frailties, my lack of courage.

I think of martyrdom because Jesus tells me and all Christians to be ready; be prepared. Am I a fool to think such a thing could happen to me, a law abiding American? Or is God warning me to be aware?

I cannot say why I think of martyrdom.

I am not an overly dramatic person, perhaps just a very realistic one.

One would think these thoughts would scare me half to death, and they do, at first. But then, in my head--in the recesses of my memory bank--is planted Jesus' promise to his disciples.

Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.

If, in the moment of trial, I can put aside my self consciousness and, by God's grace, have Holy Spirit consciousness, I need not worry. God will use His instrument--my mouth, my body, my life--upon which to play His truth.

When I think of martyrdom, I am comforted.

I have The Comforter to guard me against falling prey to the comforts of this kingdom on earth. This Comforter will bear its on testimony to my soul. This Comforter gives me peace, above my understanding.

Day 308: Careful, careful, careful

Today's Reading: Matthew 23, Luke 20-21

Memo to self: Careful, careful, careful!

1. When you preach, do not beat the flock. Remember, you are preaching to yourself more strongly than to anyone else. Remember, you are a sinner. Careful, careful, careful.

2. Do not expect others to carry the load if you are not right there beside them. Remember, your own burdens have been carried by Christ and many by them. Remember, you are a servant. Careful, careful, careful.

3. Do not parade about or lord over others. Remember, keep your spirit humble by frequent private visits with God. Remember, you are just one of the multitude of believing priests. Careful, careful, careful.

4. Crucify your pride; you are no better than anyone. Remember to take the lowest seat and seek the last place. Remember, the glory is not yours, it is God's. Careful, careful, careful.

5. Beware of titles; use them only when necessary. Remember, you are no better because of your education or ordination. Remember, you belong to God. Careful, careful, careful.

6. Watch out for the bragging tongue. Remember your Teacher, your Messiah. Remember, you are to boast only in him. Careful, careful, careful.

Day 307: Why do they hate you, Jesus?

Today's Reading: Matthew 22, Mark 12

Why do they hate you, Jesus Dear?
Why do they set for you a snare?
Why do they question the Son of God?
Why do they hate you, Jesus?

Is it because you're so very kind?
Is it because you draw the line?
Is it because you're the Son of God?
Why do they hate you, Jesus?

Is it because you welcome the child?
Is it because with the sinner you're mild?
Is it because you're the Son of God?
Why do they hate you, Jesus?

Perhaps it's because the stories you tell.
Perhaps it's because with the lepers you dwell.
Perhaps it's because you're the Son of God.
Why do they hate you, Jesus?

Maybe your eyes see too much truth.
Maybe your words leave their lying lips mute.
Maybe they can't bear the Son of God.
Why do they hate you, Jesus?

I think the cause is you bring them fear.
You challenge the value of all they hold dear.
They cannot bear you, O Son of God.
That's why they hate you, Jesus.

Your presence alone is too much for them.
Your purpose exposes their every whim.
They want to destroy you, O Son of God.
They really hate you, Jesus.

Your sword of truth cuts them to the quick
They plot and they ploy in order to trick
The all seeing and knowing Son of God.
Why don't you hate them, Jesus?

Do you not hate their sneering eyes?
Do you not hate their accusing lies?
How can you stand them, O Son of God?
Why don't you hate them, Jesus?

How can your garment of blood cover all?
Why do you anguish to cancel the fall?
How can this be, O true Son of God?
Why do you love us, Jesus?

Day 306: Save us!

Today's Reading: Mark 11, John 12

I have noticed something about myself. Sometimes, when singing national anthems or patriotic songs, I am so swept up in the music, the emotion, the tradition, the regal-ness of the moment, I miss the words I am singing. The words become a part of the rote ritual. Because of the swelling of the heart brought upon by the moment, I miss the meaning. I love the moment; I love the unity of the crowd, the vocal chorus of a thousand voices, the joy of being a part of the larger whole.

I wonder if this is how the woman or the man or the little child upon the shoulder of her father felt as they waved the palm flags over their heads and cried, "Hosanna!" Was it a sunny day? Was it a perfect day for the parade? Were they tired of the dullness of life and longing for a festival? Was someone selling olives and figs to raise money for the synagogue or local children's sports group? Were town musicians on hand to keep the crowd merry and entertained? Were young maids vying to be crowned "Palm Princess?"

Does anyone now or did anyone then see the sacrifice about to be made by the one at the very center of the street? Did they hear the prayer of their own word, "Hosanna!--save us, now!" Did anyone even have a clue as to their deep need and the great cost to meet that need?

Just as we see soldiers in dress uniform marching to the beat of the drum and the music of the band and think, "O how handsome! O how wonderful!" and do not consider toward what they are marching, I believe the crowd on that first Palm Sunday had no idea what was before the Man they were heralding.

Soon, the soldiers will load the boats or the planes and be taken into the fray of the battle. Soon, the Christ will load the cross and be the target of all of Satan's fury and fiery arrows.

We smile and cheer and sing our songs, and cannot imagine what lies ahead. We do not comprehend the cost of the requested salvation.

Day 305: The little donkey

Today's Reading: Luke 18:15-19:48

I woke this morning at the dawn
And put my muddy boots upon
My feet and trudged out to the barn
To feed my gentle donkey.

Her foal, a frisky little thing,
Nudged at her teet, the milk to bring,
I brought her oats, she thought I king!
I stroked my gentle donkey.

Each day, this ritual performed
Each day, inside our musty barn
Each day, upon each chilly morn
Tending my gentle donkey.

One day a knock came at my door
Two men I had not seen before
Two men now seeking to implore
About my gentle donkey.

They looked her up, they looked her down
And then upon the colt's fair crown
They pat his back, his belly round
Wanting my gentle donkey.

"This young unbridled buck will do."
I asked, "For what?" And "Why?" And "Who?"
"It's what the LORD requires of you."
They said, about my donkey.

From time beginning was the plan
For this young buck to bear the Man
Upon whom all Creation stands
Who'll ride my little donkey.

And so the donkey was not mine
But created for this time
When all of life will sing the rhyme--
The King upon His donkey.

The reins I put into his hand.
Such joy to think me in the plan
To raise, and then be in the band
Led by this little donkey.

O LORD, you are so good and fair
To let me in your kingdom share
By tending and by giving care
To yours--Your little donkey.

Day 304: My favorite parable!

Today's Reading: Matthew 20-21

What's your favorite parable? For many, the parable of the Prodigal Son gets top bid. Other's who love the twenty-third Psalm vote for the parable of the Good Shepherd. The parable of the workers in the vineyard is my very most favorite one of all.

To me as one who has "worked in the vineyard" since the early morning, it gives great hope and intense joy to think it is never too late here on this earth to turn to Jesus. What absolutely gorgeous grace!

Many get upset with this parable, as if working in the fields of the LORD was a labor not filled with joy. To me, being a Christian and walking with the LORD with the Holy Spirit to guide me has been the most abundant life I can imagine! Oh, that everyone could feel such contentment and joy their whole lives long.

And as far as heaven goes, I say, the more the merrier! Why would anyone who loves the LORD want to complain about more people receiving mercy, just like me. Grace is an amazing thing---the more Christ shares, the more there is.

So here's to the 9:00, Noon, 3:00, 6:00 and late evening entrants into the vineyard. I say, welcome, and pass them a glass of wine!

My Father says:
My house must be filled; Come in!
The table is spread; Come in!
You who are hungry for righteousness--Come in!

Day 303: Right to the Heart of the Matter

Today's Reading: Matthew 19, Mark 10

A rich man--perhaps a very good student who pleased his parents, who got the job, who worked hard, who saved his money, who invested well, who has position, who lacks nothing, save the guarantee of kingdom citizenship--comes to Jesus and asks the question of the day.

What must I do to inherit eternal life?

I've loved my parents and provided for them. I've been faithful to my wife. I am trustworthy and fair. I am not a violent man. I am generous and kind to my colleagues.

I have been a good boy.

I am now a good man.

What must I do to get eternal life?

Jesus' eyes become focused, zooming vision into the man's heart, checking every cell of intention for health and wholeness. He sees a growing cancer of greed, pride, idolatry and love of mammon.

"Sell everything you have, give it to the poor; and then come, and follow me."

Too much, Lord; you ask too much.

The man walks away.

Does this mean all who follow Jesus must own nothing?

Or does this mean each of us has something sitting upon the throne of our hearts where Christ alone must reign?

For this man, to give up his riches was his greatest challenge. For this man, to share with the poor around him was his deepest need.

What is my greatest challenge? What holds me back from completely embracing the life God has set forth for me for all eternity?

What am I tempted to hoard? Is it money? Is it pride? Is it control? Is it unforgiveness?

What would Jesus have me give up? Unload? Drop? So that I can follow him? Anywhere... Anytime...

What is it that keeps me continually walking away from Jesus?

That is the heart of the matter.