Day 339: Who's most beloved?

Today's Reading: 2 Corinthians 10-13

Yesterday, a wise friend shared a wise word.

"Most conflict is really about who's most beloved."

When my children used to bring their arguments to me, the real question was not about who was in the right or who was in the wrong, but a longing to be told who was loved the best.

In the church, conflict flares. We seem to pick on our brothers and sisters. Most of our arguments come when we doubt another's intentions or even their faith. We might be struggling with our own self worth, our own "stuff" of which we might not even be aware, and we throw out the question, "Do you love me?" hoping someone will come alongside us and say, "Yes, I love you, even more than I love the others."

Sibling rivalry is a very old enemy. Wondering who is better, who is more faithful, who is more "saved," who is more worthy, puts us in a Cain position poised for murder. We spend a lot of time defending ourselves to one another. We want to know who will sit in the best seat, who will get Mom's attention first, who will have the most baby pictures, who will receive the most light.

I wonder what would happen if each of us knew just how much God truly loves us, if we could rest and relax in the arms of God, big enough to hold us tight right along with all the rest of our brothers and sisters.

Day 338: Carrying around the old tent

Today's Reading: 2 Corinthians 5-9

Here's the truth.

Many people think backpacking is a glamourous task, but for me in my experience, it is sheer misery. I like to brag, "Ah yes, I backpacked through the mountains of Colorado," which I did, but honestly, because of my lack of physical fitness, even at the age of 23, I was winded the entire way. The pack was heavy and burdensome and I just wanted to throw it off and enjoy the hike.

Tents and everything needed to survive in the wild are heavy. I think my pack weighed about 60 pounds when my friends and I hit the oxygen thinned air of the mountains. My face got red and my lungs heaved. I wanted rest and I wanted it now.

And once in camp with tent set up, the wind and rain came; the rocky ground wreaked havoc to my night's sleep. Though the scenery and the comradery were spectacular, tent living was not my ideal.

As I get older, my earthly tent, this body of mine, becomes more and more burdensome. The skin sags, the joints and muscles weaken, the eyes dim, the mind slows, the teeth require more attention. Inside of me, I still feel young. In fact, the older I get, the more renewed and wise I feel. The more in love with God I become. The more understanding of myself and others I am. I feel gentler, more focused and more "me."

But the old tent canvas is getting worn and despite the patches, some of the zippers catch and some of the spikes are missing.

I praise God that when this journey is done, I will be able to come home to the warm shower of God's love and sink into the incredible sheets of rest; there will be a banquet of non-dehydrated food awaiting me and all the comforts of home I've yet to even imagine.

Day 337: Encouragement

Today's Reading: 2 Corinthians 1-4

I called my Dad
And asked him why
The pain had come--
Life gone awry
How come, I said,
all disappointment
all grief and sorrow.

The pause I knew
was pondering prayer
This wise old man
knew how to bear
sorrow, all which
was new to me.
I waited silently.

At last he said
"Read chapter one
of second Corinthians
and when you're done
give me a call
and we'll discuss
God precious word together."

The pain we face
is not for nought,
for in the struggle
our God is sought
and thus we learn
to help another
to hope for compassion.

It's sharing the gift
from one to another
It's bearing the load
of sister or brother
with knowledge not learned
without the trial
The lesson received by experience.

Day 336: True or False

Today's Reading: 1 Corinthians 15-16

OK.

So here's the bottom line for Paul.

Either the whole kit and kaboodle about Jesus is true--Jesus being God's son, coming to earth, doing the miracles, preaching the good news, dying on the cross for our redemption and resurrecting from the dead, ascending into heaven and sitting at God's right hand--or it's all hogwash.

If it's true, Wow! It changes everything.

But if it's not, why bother with much of anything.

I guess that's it.

Either Jesus is who he says he is or he's a fanatical lunatic, insane and crazy.

So here's the bottom line for me. If I say I believe in Jesus, my whole life is changed. If I believe in Jesus and it is all a hoax, I am to be the most pitied in the world.

What's the bottom line for you?

Day 335: Always?

Today's Reading: 1 Corinthians 12-14

The word "love" has been a hard one for me. I really don't know what it means when people say it. We use it too often; in fact, so often that it becomes like a worn out pair of blue jeans or a holey old tee shirt--common and ordinary.

I prefer the word "faithful." Even though this speaks only to a portion of the meaning of "love," for me, it speaks to its heart. This rings especially true when I read the "Love Chapter" and find this phrase:

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

That word "always" trips me up.

I'm someone who can do the word "sometimes" and maybe even "often," but "always?" That is hard for me. I don't think I do anything "always."

"Always" is a high standard. If it is the standard for love, I have to admit (or maybe the better word is confess) I have never loved anyone, not even myself. I protect only when it is comfortable. I trust only when I can see at least some proof. I wane in my hope when I am disappointed. I have a very hard time persevering when the course is long and I feel winded.

Because of my own inability to live the "always," it's hard for me to imagine our Heavenly Father's ability to be the "Always."

Today, I will meditate on the faithful "always-ness" of our LORD. Not only for me. But for you.

Day 334: Putting up with it all

Today's Reading: 1 Corinthians 9-11

A young mother was talking about how she and her husband played rock-paper-scizzors to determine who would change the really icky diaper of their one year old. A dad talked about the need to hang tight with his son who was going through a period of intense rebellion. A wizen pastor shared her sorrow over a congregation in conflict. Paul shares his willingness to lay down his "rights" in order to advance the gospel.

All of this makes me wonder what each of us is willing to endure for the sake of love. Love for God. Love for neighbor. How much lowering of self and sharing of truth are we willing to risk to advance the gospel? How much are we willing to move to the back row, out of the limelight of our own self love, for another's gain?

In my life, I wonder if I'm willing to serve my family more, share my wealth or home to the point of my own discomfort, put up with "bad behavior" in order to woo someone into the kingdom?

How many icky messes, rebellious moments and conflict must be endured before we reach God's kingdom goal?

This whole "putting on the mind of Christ" is always a greater challenge than I imagined it to be...

Day 333: Disrespecting the giver

Today's Reading: 1 Corinthians 5-8

With Christmas right around the corner, I think about the time and effort put into buying or making the perfect gift for the ones I love.

I can't help but remember an incredible sweater my mother made as a gift. She spent hours knitting it. Along the bottom of the edge were little trucks and cars. It was so sweet.

Now imagine throwing such a precious gift on the floor where the dog could get a hold of it and chew it up. What a horror that would be! So ungrateful and disrespectful of not only the gift but the giver!

Yesterday, as I pulled out of the grocery store, I saw three young men walking down the street dropping their trash along the way. If this wasn't bad enough, they were laughing about it. I wanted to pull over and with my Big Momma voice yell at them to pick it up.

God gives us incredible gifts and we seem to disrepect them. We are not only given creation in all its beauty, but each other. God has also given us the gift of love making, probably one of the most intense and pleasurable physical experiences. But why do we take this gift and trash it? And then, even laugh or brag about the it.

I'm sure God grieves over this. God might want to get on the Big Momma voice, but in reality, I think he picks up the ripped up sweater of a person and weeps.