Today's Reading: 1 Samuel 28-31; Psalm 18
There is an interesting psychological phenomenon. Sometimes the very thing we hope to destroy is the very thing we want to cling to. What we passionately hate is sometimes something that hooks us.
My spiritual director shared a bit of this with me when she was teaching me about people who complain about or judge others. She said, "You spot it, you got it." In other words, if you can spot an issue in someone's life, it is probably in your life too.
This paradoxical way of thinking has been very clear in most wars. The very people men seem to hate are the ones to whom they run for sexual pleasures. Thus, during the time of slavery in the south, plantation owners would have Negresses as mistresses. During Nazi Germany, the commanders of the war would take on Jewish mistresses, the very people they called "scum."
In today's scripture, Saul has abolished witchcraft and has sent mediums packing. And yet, when God refuses to talk with Saul he disguises himself and turns to the very people he hates for counsel and advice.
Saul is superstitious; it is his nature. He needs to be assured of what he is doing. The superstition has more hold on him than his virtue to be pure from witchcraft.
So what hooks you?
Often when people are adamant about alcohol, somewhere in their history, they have a story. The same is true for sexual sins, anger issues, etc. If a person is raging and very upset about something, it is probably connected to a weakness in their historical line. The things we often hope to avoid are the very things to which we are weak...They hook us.
Paul talks about this. He says, The very things I do not want to do are the very things I end up doing.
Saul hated sorcery and witchcraft, condemned mediums and wizards to death, and yet in his weakness, where did he go?
To the witch of Endor.