Today's Reading: Job 17-20
I must admit, it is late at night and I am just now getting to this blog because I am tired of Job and his friends and all their talk of worms and death and Sheol and yada, yada, yada. Enough already!
Perhaps this comment has more to say about me than Job. Though I am a pastor type and love to nurture and support people, I guess I do not have a lot of long term compassion for the chronic complainer. Job's plea for pity in chapter 19 are very pity-ful indeed, but I am weary of his suffering.
I'm sure this is the plight of those who care for the chronically ill, this weariness of the daily grind of suffering, complaining, pain, sorrow and agony. I am ashamed to admit that I would probably not be the most empathetic.
And have you noticed how verbal Job is? When I am suffering, I really don't want to talk that much. I am like Job in that I have the feeling in the midst of pain that "My spirit is broken" (17:1) and I have also thought at times of shame that "surely, there are mockers about me...since (they) have closed their minds to understanding (my situation.)" 17:2,4 But when pain or sorrow come to me, I turn more inward. Probably because not too many people are good listeners in the first place.
So there it is. We all want compassion and pity in the midst of our suffering, but man oh man, it sure is hard to continue to dish up a daily plate of it to others when they seem to be a bottomless pit.
So Lord, give me compassion...but if it's like that prayer for patience and it means that you will make me practice it, I'm not sure I want to pray this prayer. Forgive me that I am so self centered.